Relationship Advice

by Sara Musfeldt

When a relationship ends, it’s easy to look back and say you should’ve known he was a jerk, a cheater, an abuser, and so on. I know this to be true because I’ve done it at least 18 times. We all have.

It’s OK to justify that a red flag is more pink than red sometimes, but be honest with yourself and know the difference between the two. Here are five red flags that shouldn’t be justified.

1. Roughness. A respectful person won’t hurt his or her partner. It’s a red flag if he grabs or pushes too hard and then claims he was just playing around.

2. The “Who’s that guy?” syndrome. Everyone has insecurities so a little jealousy can be normal in a relationship. But you should know the difference between a little jealous and a lot jealous. If he gives you 20 questions every day, if he accuses you of things that are untrue, if he puts you down and calls you names, then he’s way too insecure. And the bad news is that he won’t get better. It’s just the beginning and he WILL get worse.

3. Your sister hates him. Your friends and family love you dearly and want only what is best for you. There are always exceptions to this, but at least listen to and consider what they have to say about your new man. If they don’t like him, there is probably a good reason. They know you best and only want you to be happy.

4. What happened to the things you used to do? It’s natural to fall in love and have a few of your priorities change. You may spend less time on your hobbies or see your friends less, but don’t eliminate these things entirely. Consider it a red flag if your significant other makes you feel guilty for doing things on your own or prevents you from spending time with your friends.

5. He’s sweet one minute and scary the next minute. Be with someone who is stable and treats you well all the time. If he has extreme mood swings you probably worry about rearranging your day to make him happy or what he’ll be like when you get home. Instability like this will wear you out.

Women are just as guilty of presenting these red flags, and of course there are far more red flags to heed than those that I list here. Since this list just scratches the surface, visit DatingTales online dating guide for more tips.

About the Author:

About the Author: Sara Musfeldt operates a website with dating stories and dating profile tips for everyone. Sara has also created an online dating advice to help single people everywhere find a date. You can get a unique content version of this article.

by Ilan Wolffberg

In Denmark, couples therapy is called “parterapi”, and in the tiny Scandinavian country with divorce rates at close to a world record this is an important word to know.

Most people I’ve spoken to regard parterapi as the last resort before divorce. One has long been dissatisfied. One has tried with arguments and long talks, but nothing has helped. One has spoken with friends and parents, maybe even with a priest or bartender - but good advice is hard to come by. One has (almost) given up.

Parterapi is seen by many as the last resort. The final step in an heroic attempt at saving a relationship on the brink of failure. Having to pay for outside help is also painful. And is it worth the money ?

Upon arrival at therapy, it often turns out that the expectations, far from shared, are quite different for the two participants. For some, it is already over and only the tidying up remains. Help (or courage) is needed to end an often painful existence. Some arrive unwilling to participate but unable to decline being “dragged” there by the other - unwilling or unable to refuse to taking part in what may be a fruitless rescue attempt.

Many arrive in the hope that some quick advice will be forthcoming that can help them get back on track so they can continue with the happy relationship they had before it all went wrong.

- and to their surprise they are told by the therapist that no magic cure is forthcoming. They are told that it they, themselves, who will have to work hard and that the help the therapist can provide consists of support and guidance, in help to rebuild a stable and trusting relationship. They are also told that it will take time and that the work will at times be hard, that progress will be made and relapses occur. They will experience laughter and also tears and that , more than anything else, it will require courage.

Courage is needed to open up and reveal one’s thoughts and aspirations to another. It takes courage to share feelings, to allow another to see one’s strengths and weaknesses. And it takes courage to open oneself to another, vulnerable and without the protection one has built up over a lifetime.

It is hardly surprising that so many give up after only a few tries. Or never come to begin with.

For those who succeed, the payoff is great. They end therapy with increased confidence in themselves, in life and in each other. They acquire strategies they can apply to solve future difficulties and disagreements. They get increased insight into their own ways of meeting the world and how they are different from each other and thereby can help each other to achieve more than either can achieve alone.

And often they ponder: “What made us wait so long?”, “I wish we had known all this long ago”, “Just think of how happy we could have been all this time.”, “If only we had known”

About the Author:

Relationship problems? Ilan Wolffberg is an American psychotherapist residing in Denmark for over 30 years. Check out his expert advice on Couples Therapy or on Parterapi as they say in Danish. Don’t reprint this exact article. Instead, reprint a free unique content version of this same article.

by Erik J. Michaels

I will admit, us guys have a nasty habit of messing up with our girls and jeopardizing the relationships we have with them. Time and again, our simplistic and idiotic mistakes threaten to end the things we hold dear, and we get to that desperate point where we have to figure out “how do I get her to stay?” Well, maybe I can help.

Figuring out how to get your girl to not leave you can hinge a lot on what’s making her want to leave in the first place. Figuring out what you’re doing wrong can be a vital first step in keeping her from dumping you. Some of you reading this will know what went wrong, but for those who don’t there follows a small list of questions you can ask yourself.

-Did I violate her personal definition of unfaithfulness? -Did I say something stupid or make her feel bad about herself because of something I said? -Have I been making enough time in my life to spend with her, and make her feel loved? -Did I forget her birthday/our anniversary/Valentine’s Day/Christmas? -Have I been supportive enough of her emotions and feelings? -Have I respected her opinion in the relationship and treated her as an equal?

I’m not saying these six things are the only possible reasons for why she’s thinking about leaving, but they should get your mind working and usually have a little to do with whatever’s going on. Remember that it’s rarely just one problem, but can be an entire slew of them.

Now, there are big problems and little problems in a relationship, but none of them are trifling matters. Even “smaller” problems like saying something stupid or forgetting Valentine’s Day can stack to cause a relationship-threatening feud. Just because they’re not world-enders doesn’t mean you can ignore them…it just makes them easier to handle.

Cheating on her, not supporting her emotions or helping her to feel loved and like she’s important to you, and not spending enough time with her are all things that can be considered “big.” These can hit hard in a relationship, and getting through one that’s threatened by these can require a lot of sacrifice and change.

Saving a relationship from its problems starts with you stopping the behaviors that started it…this is easiest with the little things. Immediately quitting these things coupled with a heartfelt apology can usually take care of the majority of the recovery needed, but only if you continue to NOT do those things.

Remember that while the little things are generally not relationshipkillers when taken one at a time, repeating them over a long period of time or doing a bunch at once can really mess things up for you and your girlfriend, so you don’t get a free pass with these. Be careful.

Big things are the real killers of relationships. Cheating is a massive relationship killer, so all I can say on this one is don’t EVER do it in the first place, and make sure you know what your woman considers being unfaithful…sometimes all it takes is a lingering gaze with no follow-up intentions to make your girlfriend start to feel hurt. There’s no reason to look at other women anyways, you’re with the best one in the world!

Frankly, most problems big and small in a relationship can be avoided entirely by paying really close attention and respecting each other. When communication shuts down and you stop listening to one another, things can get hairy pretty fast. If you just devote your attention and time to your girlfriend, things should be pretty good…and on the rare occasion that a problem comes up, you’ll be able to deal with it quickly and effectively.

If there’s a serious problem going on right now with your relationship, and your girlfriend is looking for the door in spite of your desire to make it work, it’s critical to do what you have to in order to make her happy and make her stay. Sacrifice and compromise are the names of the game, and if that’s what it takes to make her feel cared-about, that’s what you need to do…and is that really so unfair?

About the Author:

This article come just a little bit too late to stop a breakup? Get immediate relief from breakup agony and a proven plan to get your ex back. Free articles and info at http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up.html. Click here for other unique ‘dating’ articles.

By Kristin J. Thorne

Dealing with a cheating spouse can be one of the most devastating and painful experiences in your life. Your dream of a life with your beloved one, full of promises of a happy life together, with a house full of children, suddenly becomes a nightmare.

You start wondering why your spouse has been so cool towards you lately. And you begin to think if there is anything you did to deserve that kind of behavior towards you.

It is extremely important that you understand, that YOU are not the one to blame! If your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend starts a love affair with another person, that was solely THEIR decision. And they are brilliant in convincing themselves that they are not doing anything wrong!

They convince themselves that if you weren’t like this, or if you weren’t like that, they wouldn’t have to look for sex and love elsewhere. But that is so wrong! Starting a relationship with another person while still in a marriage or relationship, will never be ok.

If people aren’t mature enough to sit down with their spouse and discuss what they need to improve in their relationship, there is something wrong with THEM! If people are so naive to think that just by getting married, they will live happily ever after, THEY are the ones who have the problems!

If you suspect that your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you, don’t ever confront them directly with your suspicions, because you will only hear lies such as:

Oh, she is just like a sister to me, that’s all, or, It wasn’t me! The cell phones must have been crossed with someone else’s, or, He’s a good friend of my brother. You get the point here.

You need to learn what the most common signs of cheating are, and amazingly enough, most cheating spouses show similar behavioral patterns. Therefore, you have to prepare yourself very carefully, mentally and legally, and you need to gather rock solid proofs before you confront them.

Is My Partner Cheating On Me? Learn the truth by using proven, tested methods. Learn how to avoid the critical mistakes every betrayed spouse makes. Discover the secrets to How To Catch A Cheating Partner You are welcome to reprint this article - but get your own unique content version here.

By Trevor Goald

Remember how easy it was to fall in love?  It didn’t take any effort at all.  Your eyes met, you made a little small talk, and that was that.  So, if it was so easy to fall in love, why is it sometimes so hard to keep your relationship on a happy course?

All relationships are not created equally.  There are healthy, lasting partnerships and there are those that seem doomed from the very beginning.  The strength of your union depends entirely upon how you and your partner handle life’s obstacles.

If you feel that your current relationship needs improvement, step back and take a good look at the partnership.  Did your state of romantic bliss suddenly take a turn for the worse, or has it been stuck on a course of slow decline?  Consider what you may have done wrong, and don’t be afraid to take a good look at your own personal shortcomings.

If you truly want to save a troubled relationship, you need to be able to recognize the trouble zones:

A Failure to Communicate

If your relationship is going to thrive, it needs to be built on a solid base of open communication.  Without communication, both you and your partner won’t have a clear understanding of what’s really going on.  You may not even be aware that there is a problem at all.  When this happens, a seemingly healthy relationship can quickly turn sour.  Poor communication creates more conflict.  If you and your partner cannot openly discuss what you each want and need from the union, you’re bound to hit rocky roads.  Remaining silent when a problem arises serves no purpose, and will only aggravate the problem.  It’s far better to express your true feelings and risk having an open dispute, rather than staying silent and saying nothing at all.  Poor communication or no communication at all, only contributes to a failing relationship.

Put Pride Aside

It’s actually healthy to have petty arguments and conflicts from time to time.  These “good” confrontations will ultimately strengthen your union.  When you pile on the pride, however, your discussions can quickly turn into full-blown fights.  Put your pride aside when you and your partner disagree.  Learn to be humble.  Apologize when you’re wrong, and accept your partner’s apologies with no strings.  .  No loving relationship is built on pride.   Be flexible with your partner and give him or her a little room for error.  There is no “wrong” or “right” in any healthy relationship.  Keep your partnership strong by voicing your opinions, and respecting those of your partner.

Lies and Deceit

If anything can kill a healthy relationship, it’s lies and deceit.  To compound the problem, these two crimes are usually tied together.  An unfaithful partner tries his or her best to lie about the infidelity and hid the deception.  Sooner or later, however, the truth will come out.  The jilted partner has been deceived and lied to.  He or she is too enraged to listen to any explanation, and cannot bear to hear any more lies.

If your partner admits to being unfaithful, you may find that this is the culmination of a string of lies and deceit.  Your once happy and romantic relationship can quickly fail, as the very basic element of trust has been taken out of the equation.  You will be suspicious and jealous, your partner will be guilt-ridden and ashamed, and the negative feelings can lead to an ongoing cycle that will eventually lead to a failed relationship.

Don’t despair if your good relationship feels bad from time to time, and don’t worry that it’s ruined beyond repair.  If you know the warning signs and are willing to take the steps to improve the health of your partnership, you can build on your healthy bond and make your union even stronger.

Author Trevor Goald is a contributor to numerous web sites, on mental health and health and wellness topics. You are welcome to reprint this article - but get your own unique content version here.

By Erik J. Michaels

Going through a breakup is hard, that’s pretty much universally-known.  What’s NOT as well-known is that it really doesn’t have to be, considering you can put an end to all the breakup pain by following a few simple steps to get your ex back.  Sound good?  Keep reading!

As complicated as the process for getting your ex back really is, it can be simplified and divided up into five steps that make it a lot easier to handle.  Consider these to be chunks of a much bigger object called “getting your life back on track.”  I’ll try to keep it as simple as I can while still giving you all you need to know about each step.

Step 1: Your first impulse directly after the breakup is usually to plague your ex with what I call the “take me back -attack.”  This is a BAD IDEA.  Your ex will NOT want to talk to you right now, it’s still too painful.  Give the poor person some space, and frankly you could use it too.

Step 2: Take advantage of the downtime to work on the things you did or didn’t do that contributed to the breakup.  Every couple has flaws equally divided, but the person who gets broken up with usually has more.  These things have to be addressed and dealt with, or else you can’t expect anything better from new relationships than the fate of the old one.  Make the necessary changes.  Yeah, this is the main chunk that’s bigger than the others, but it’s important.

Step 3: Once you’ve had sufficient time to recover from the breakup and really get yourself back into order, you can go ahead and contact your ex.  Do so lightly at first, and keep away from aggressive relationship talk.  Just give him/her a phone call or email asking how they’ve been doing.  It’s light, it makes contact, and it serves as a good starting point for slightly escalating contacts.

Step 4:  If the first contacts work out, you’ll probably slowly start spending more time with each other.  During these occasions, don’t be aggressive…just do things with your ex that you both used to really enjoy.  This is great for rekindling old memories and feelings.  Second, use this time to let the work you’ve been doing on yourself speak for itself.

Step 5:  It’s not sure-fire that your ex will want to get back together, but the chances are pretty good…and if you two DO give it another try, it’s critical that you not screw up now.  So you got your ex back…now KEEP him/her!  Don’t make the same mistakes again, and try to avoid any new ones too!  This could be your last chance!

So always remember that sacrifice and compromise is a massive part of any well-running relationship.  Both people have needs that must be met, and YOU are concerned with your PARTNER’s.  Neglecting what your partner needs is the fastest and most efficient way to make that partner into an ex…possibly, for good.

Just broken up? Get instant relief from break up agony and a proven process to get your ex back. Free articles and info at http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up.html. Click here to get your own unique version of this article.

By Howard Brule

Perhaps you are not aware of it, but each bright color a rose can come in has a special and unique significance? That is why when you choose a rose bouquet to send to that special someone, you don’t just send flowers - you send a message. Once you understand the symbolism of each color, you’ll discover that it is easy to find florists across the U.S who can help you choose and communicate just the right message.

Red roses - It will probably come as no surprise that red is used to symbolize romantic love. Because of their classic rich red color, red roses are the perfect way to say “I love you” to someone very special. The depth of the color reflects the depth of your feelings. Red roses are also associated with blood - thus symbolizing blood ties as between two people engaged to be married.

Yellow rose - On the other hand, a bouquet of yellow roses is especially appropriate as a gift for a good friend. The bright yellow colors of the flower petals symbolizes the cheery and warm feelings you share with a trusted friend. Yellow is also a good choice for most casual flower arrangement - for example, a friend’s birthday arrangement or a get well soon arrangement.

Pink roses - A pink rose is in some ways like a red one. Like red roses pink ones also symbolize love. But they are most appropriate when a relationship has not deepend into true love. Symbolizing admiration, happiness, and affection, pink roses are ideal for almost any romantic situation.

White rose - White roses are used for both beareavements and weddings. This is because white symbolizes new beginnings as well as innocence, purity, and newness.

The symbolism of rose colors stretches back to at least the Middle Ages. If you choose to send flowers to a special person, you will be taking part in a time honored tradition designed to send a message of admiration, love, or best wishes that can be appreciated by all.

If you need same day flower delivery  across the U.S. find local flower shops in thousands of cities. More than 20,000 florists in our database. This and other unique content ’send flowers’ articles are available with free reprint rights.

Welcome to Relationship Advice Online.

Here we provide a range of articles written by experts that you will not find anywhere else online.  Our articles are moderated before being published, therefore we only publish quality, unique Relationship Advice Articles.

Relationships can be the most fantastic part of our lives, but at the same time they can also cause us a great deal of heart ache.  This is why sometimes we need some help and advice on how to deal with relationship problems, that is what we provide for you here at Relationship Advice Online.

Sometimes one of the main problems that people come across is how to overcome the scars of previous relationships and build new relationships.  A great article that has proved very popular is Healing Relationship Wounds.